Having it all: myth or reality?

Like my many comadres I took my fair share of women's studies courses in college. Actually, I could have received a minor if it wasn't for their strict rules. Either way, I read all of the classics Steinem, hooks, Haraway. I watched the very graphic documentaries concerning female circumcision and the beauty of the speculum. One of the things that I learned from all of the essays, textbooks, lectures, and videos is the term "having it all." The idea that as women we can have it all meaning the kids, career, marriage, and friends. The interesting part is that they assumed all of the women present wanted those things. I know plenty of women who don't strive for children or a married life and that's cool too. So it is interesting what kind of lifestyel my professors were advocating. A very stereotypical one unfortunately. Either way, when I was in my 20s, I believed in this "all" adage. When I started dating my future husband, I believed in it. When I walked down the aisle, I believed in it. When I was pregnant, I still believed in it. Now three kids later. I am not so sure. Yes I can have it all but not all at once. And I think that is the addendum needed in such a statement. At first I thought that my female professors had lied to me, leading me to believe in a modern day fairy tale life where "all" is possible. How un-feminist is it to make young women believe in modern day fairy tales. It took me a few kids into parenthood to realize that I wasn't lied to as much as not given the entire scope of the situation. I was given an unfinished novel, and it was up to me to write the middle and ending. And with the help of my husband and three kids, I have begun to write it. I still consider myself a feminist, a strong female who knows when it is appropriate to compromise with her partner. I have learned to pick and choose my battles and when I do choose to battle, watch out! I have learned that being a participant in my kids lives versus an observer is much more important than climbing the metaphorical career ladder. My career will always be there and so will the ladder but watching my kids rest their heads on their pillows or hear them fight for the syrup in the morning won't. I willing chose to be a quasi-stay-at-home mom and I am proud of it. I work part-time for economical and mental health reasons. I need adult interaction aside from my husband's wondrous conversations about touchdowns and redevelopment jargon that I have no clue about. So to answer my own question, it is not a myth. It is a reality just not all at once.